A little something for my sister…

…because she keeps complaining that I’m depriving her of her weekly endorphin hit now that she can’t come here and read about the life of her slightly deranged younger sister. Apparently some of us exist solely to entertain others and its totally unforgivable if we stop doing it, even if the Others know that the reason we stopped doing it was because one day the computer woke up and decided that the grass was greener on the other side of this reality and went off to live with the Great Mother Board in the sky.

Also while we are on the topic of everything I own collapsing in a giant pile of  NOT WORKING!!! the printing part of the printer/copier/scanner no longer, well, prints. Technology Blahhh!, mind you to be fair it probably had something to do with the family of small plastic animals that had taken up residence in the cogs and gears of the thing. Because the other two slashed functions still work and all the money Glenn earns during the week is currently paying for the education of the three children belonging to the man who stocks the plaster board section of our local Bunnings, we had to get a simple printer this time. Which means that now I have two  large plastic boxes with flashing lights that the baby has somehow gotten into her head contain the ultimate pleasures of this existence that I have to find a place for. Also if I need to photocopy anything for the kids I have to scan it into one machine, find it on the computer and print it on the other, I feel so inefficient.

Also my contacts didn’t turn up in the mail and when we queried the company that we order them from we were told that it was standard practice to have an eye test every year and that they wouldn’t fill the prescription until I had. Only problem being by the time I got all this information I was on my last pair. The contacts disintegrated three days before the appointment, then I had to wait for the order to be filled. I know what you are thinking, why didn’t she have a back up pair of good old fashioned glasses? well you need to ask that to Lilly the Destroyer, who when she was little snapped three pairs of mine and one of Mums and caused Glenn to ban glasses due to the fact that we could no longer afford food.

Then Eli snapped the prongy pit off the phone charger.

Then the toaster produced a pyrotechnics display to rival that of the Harbour bridge, well maybe the one that they have down by the river, and refused to make bread crispy.

So to sum it all up everything I have mentioned above means that from New Years till now I have been stuck inside a blurry existence unable to reach out to the world at large and totally unable to have Vegemite on toast.

I feel better now getting that off my chest. I promise after this rant to be less wordy and much more perky, well, until the next thing blows up in my face.

And if you have read all the way through my emotional purging I have a little reward for you. Here is a picture of my sister Jill at Christmas and a little advice for the future, when making home made Christmas Crackers with the kids test the tearability of the paper before you hand them out to all the relatives.

yes that is a knife in her hand

Back stabbing done cracker style.