How to steal sympathy from strangers

This actually happened last week and I meant to write it down but I barely have a functioning brain cell left and I simply forgot.

Whenever we go to a homeschooling park gathering where swarms of children run free transforming nature into the tools of their imaginations we always have a little bit of trouble leaving. This is manly due to one obstinate member of the family who upon spying me gathering the bags climbs to the highest point of the play equipment and digs their heels in. However last week this didn’t happen, they were great, I even had assistance with the bags. And as I was driving home I thought why don’t I treat them, you know so they associate good behaviour with receiving a treat. That’s good parenting isn’t it, or was that what we were meant to be doing with the dog??

Anyhoo, we pulled up at the shops and I told the kids I needed to get money out first. We all trooped up to the nearest ATM and I stuck the card in and nothing. Not nothing from the machine, nothing from me. I had absolutely no idea what the little numbers were, I was totally blank. You see two days earlier I had my bag pinched at the library. I must say the people who work there and a few members of the general public made having all your personal belongings pinched a reasonable pleasant experience. Heaps of people hunted for the thing for me and one even attempted to quell the ferocious raging tantrum that one child thought was totally appropriate to bring out right at that moment. The bag was eventually located but not before the cards had been cancelled. I had to laugh though, there is one totally grossed out opportunistic felon out there because while the bag did have my wallet in it what your hand fell on initially was a pile of wet nappies. The bag looked like a hand bag but I use it as a nappy bag and Eli had put his drink bottle in there with the lid open so everything inside was disturbingly squishy. Being at the bottom the purse was left untouched and the bag was stuffed under the bookshelves at the back of the library.

All that meant that I was now standing in front of the ATM new card in hand and no idea what buttons to push. I looked down at their expectant eyes and attempted an explanation in the vain hope that they would turn to me and say “That’s fine Mummy we understand of course sandwiches at home will be fine” *Insert hollow monotonous HA HA* I had two sets of instant tears and one plonk down on the ground with crossed arms. Then to top it off Sabrina stated to cry. I could feel the eyes.

Then my charming Lillly calls up to me “Just get the money Mummy, I don’t know why you never get the money”

“I would get the money Lilly” I respond through clenched teeth “Only I can’t, I don’t know the number and I don’t have any cash on me”

Major Oh No, if they all revolt like this I can’t win, I’m out numbered, if they all just sit on the floor crying I have no way of physically getting them to the car, I can feel panic tingling on the edge of my senses, go away panic If you show up now you may as well bring the men in white coats with you.

“Wait hang on” I yell, hope is making me slightly manic. “Daddy stashes change in the car, we may have money people”

And we did. We had enough of the gold coins with a few sliver to buy a family size chips and a few strips of chicken, and boy did it taste sweet. When we were finished the issue of thirst arose. HMMM, I looked in the change purse, there was a little still in there mostly 10’s and 5’s.

I explained to the kids really really well that we could only get one drink to share and only if we had enough coins. I couldn’t bring myself to go back to the same shop with my coins so I approached another and sheepishly asked if she could tell me the exact price of the small bottle of lemonade. As she saw me fumbling with my tower of 5’s she was obviously taken aback but she recovered nicely and offered a tray to help me stack them on. Then as we were walking off she called us back and asked us if she could offer us 5 cups to help out, assuring me it was no problem at all. Then as she handed them over she smiled sympathetically down at the children.I followed her gaze and it was then that I realized that we had come straight from the park and the kids were covered head to toe in red brown playground dust. To top it off the earlier tears had mingled with the muck giving each of them a hollowed out dark eye look. To the uneducated observer they really did look like the poorest street urchins ever realised in the mind of Dickens.