Early Sunday morning police were called after a family member located the misshapen remains of Mr John Thatsallwhywouldyouthinkhehasanothername was located at the bottom of the refrigeration tower in his own place of residence.
After examination of the scene the police have ruled out any foul play. “Mr Thatsallwhywouldyouthinkhehasanothername had a reputation as a midnight snacker and we believe the victim lost his footing while attempting to scale the fridge and simply fell to his death.” said officer Plod
The local member of The Plastic Toys Protection board had this to say about the events of Saturday night “we can speculate from the victims attire, that was not at all suited to the cold autumn evenings, that the misuse of alcohol may have been a contributing factor to this sad happenstance. It is a sad truth that in resent years with the promotion of Natural Echo Toys members of the Plastic Society are turning to illicit substances to drown out their feelings of inadequacy and guilt over the demise of the whole planet.”
A private funeral service will be held for Mr Thatsallwhywouldyouthinkhehasanothername on Monday morning.
RIP Thatsallwhywouldyouthinkhehasanothername. Its sad that the PS are being marginalised in that way and turning to self destructive lifestyles.
Oh no – poor thing!